Burnout: Strong women need care too: Embracing the vulnerable side

I have often come across, both personally and professionally, women who are drowning

in the expectation to do it all.

This generation is expected to balance a profession, children, family, relationships, and themselves often without pause or recognition. The societal pressure is relentless.

Women are asked to maintain a picture-perfect home, raise high-achieving children who are mentally, emotionally, and physically well, and remain emotionally available partners. Too often, when something goes wrong, people view the wife, mother, or female partner as the one who failed to keep everything together. Responsibility quietly defaults to her.

But how often do we consider what it means to be a strong woman? And what happens to the vulnerable parts of women who manage everything?

Behind competence, some are simply exhausted and hoping for care. The constant giving, the repeated placing of others’ needs before their own, and the pressure to succeed in every area place women at significant risk of burnout, anxiety, and depression.

When care flows outward without being replenished, the emotional cost accumulates quietly. Many women feel guilty about pausing, attending to their own needs, or voicing a need for support. There is a deeply ingrained belief that asking for help signals weakness or incompetence, that as women, they should be able to manage everything without support. Strength becomes equated with endurance, rather than well-being.

As a result, mental and emotional distress often goes unrecognised until it begins to show up physically and emotionally. Headaches, persistent tiredness, insomnia, and a weakened immune system are common, alongside irritability, low mood, and a loss of enjoyment in activities that once brought pleasure.

Burnout may appear as exhaustion, decreased motivation, and a sense of being constantly “on edge.” Anxiety often shows up as racing thoughts, restlessness, and persistent worry over responsibilities. Many women begin to withdraw socially, not because they do not value connection, but because their emotional capacity has been depleted.

The constant pressure to perform, care for others, and appear competent can reinforce guilt around taking breaks or prioritising self-care, which in turn perpetuates stress. Over time, perfectionism, suppression of vulnerability, and internal pressure can intensify feelings of sadness, emptiness, or emotional overwhelm.

These signs are not failures of resilience; they are the body and mind signalling that the load has become too heavy. Recognising them and responding with care, boundaries, and support is not weakness; it is an act of courage and an essential step toward sustainable strength.

Women are often perceived as more emotionally capable than men. They are expected to hold others’ distress, soothe, contain, and provide comfort, often without recognition or relief. Over time, many internalise these expectations and strive to meet them, offering emotional, physical, and increasingly financial support to their families.

When the weight becomes too heavy, the inability to cope is often perceived by themselves and others as failure. Instead of asking for support, many continue to push forward, giving without pause and without asking for anything in return. Gradually, those around them see them as someone who does not have needs or require care.

This creates a vicious cycle. The more a woman gives, the less her needs are noticed. The more her needs go unnoticed, the more she becomes accustomed to suppressing them. Over time, this leads to emotional and physical exhaustion, quiet resentment, and a deep, often unnamed, sadness.

How do we break this cycle of one-way giving? To preserve mental and physical health, women need to pause and recognise their own needs. Putting ourselves on the same level as those we care for is essential. Caring for basic needs, exercise, rest, social connections, and hobbies is not indulgence; it is necessary to function sustainably.

Setting boundaries, learning to say “no,” and protecting our emotional and physical well-being are acts of strength. By modelling self-care, we teach the next generation of women to care for themselves and the next generation of men that women also need support.

You can be ambitious, capable, and successful and still need care, reassurance, and connection. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is a vital part of true strength. As we step into a new year, I invite all women to prioritise themselves, honour their needs, and make self-care a non-negotiable part of their resolutions.